Going through a divorce process can be a very challenging time for you. Even if the separation is relatively civil and you are able to discuss things sensibly and amicably, there will be lingering sadness and regret all the same. However, many divorces unfortunately aren’t straightforward, even if the separation is reasonably cordial. The existence of complicating features can make assets more difficult to divide, particularly if they involve strong emotional ties or require different levels of input.
All these factors can lead to delays, frustration, anguish and, inevitably, fall-outs. Common things which can complicate a case including dealing with the arrangements for children, dealing with properties, or a family business, or pensions, or trusts, as well as the issue of maintenance payments. Assets which have been inherited or one party’s approach to negotiations can also make a divorce more complicated. In extreme cases there may also be underlying evidence of domestic abuse or controlling behaviour, which can cloud discussions and makes it very difficult to reach balanced and rational conclusions.
The length of a marriage can be a huge influence on how assets in a marriage are divided. The duration of the marriage is relevant to the precise distribution of property between the spouses. But also long-term marriages often involve more complex property division questions than shorter marriages, even without factoring in other issues such as bank accounts, trusts and children.
Appointing the right legal representation
In such cases, first and foremost, you will need trusted and reliable legal representation from a specialist solicitor who has the necessary experience and technical knowledge. They must be able to handle the situation and the other party and their representatives. They must not only be able to negotiate effectively on your behalf, but also know when to drive home a point to fight your corner. This is a difficult balance to maintain, but is key to being able to navigate a complex divorce. Depending on how your financial assets are structured, you may also need input from an accountant to unravel everything and establish what is rightfully yours.
In such cases, first and foremost, you will need trusted and reliable legal representation from a specialist solicitor who has the necessary experience and technical knowledge.
Separation can bring very intense emotions to the fore, particularly where infidelity, the mismanagement of money or any form of abuse has occurred. This may make any kind of mediation impossible in some complex cases. Following separation, you are likely to see a side to your partner – and maybe even yourself – that you have never seen before, because this is a unique situation and a strong commitment has broken down. So you need to prepare yourself for this before entering into any negotiations. Another preparation you need to make is to establish what your immediate ambitions are both personally and financially. This can help you quantify what you need from the assets of the marriage and therefore help to build a path towards what a successful outcome for you.
It is common for any initial feelings of animosity to subside during divorce proceedings, but this of course depends on how negotiations go and how complex your finances, assets and family relationships are. What is common for both parties, in most cases, is that you both want this over with and settled quickly, so you can move on. This can lead to a new relationship forming between the two parties, which you might not class as ‘friendship’ but it is at least cordial and professional.
Managing behaviours in a complex divorce process
Of course, this might not always be the case, and in some separations there can be elements of vindictiveness and spite which contribute to deliberate attempts to undermine the divorce process. So, in a more toxic separation, it may be more difficult to co-operate, particularly where a string of damaging behaviours has occurred in reaching this point. This is not easily forgotten and can manifest itself in how the discussions go. In such cases you would be advised to take a step back and perhaps even leave discussions to your respective legal teams, or at least as much as possible. Such divorce proceedings can be protracted and stressful and can even include targeted abuse which can touch upon new relationships that have formed or on your new home.
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In order to get through a complex divorce case you need to comply with any formal requirements as closely as possible. Even if your partner isn’t doing the same, this will reflect much better on you when further discussions take place, or when the courts get involved. So bring the children round at the appointed time for visits, or return them well within the agreed time window. Children are rightly made prominent in such cases and your fair and reasonable handling of them will work in your favour. Similarly, you should stick to payment conditions for maintenance or for dividing bank accounts or other financial assets, this will all show that you are avoiding contention and acting reasonably, and whilst this might be difficult in the short term, it will benefit you in the long term.
Whilst a potentially chaotic separation is ongoing, it is important to keep time to yourself and to protect your mental and physical health. The separation may have been damaging and so too could the divorce itself, and whilst it is natural to put children and household duties first, having some time in each day when you can switch everything off and indulge yourself – meeting a friend for coffee, going to see a film or even just reading a book - can be hugely recuperative and vital in getting you through a damaging process. Also, surrounding yourself with a strong support network can be critical. Friendly faces, checking in once a day, offering advice and perhaps telling you when you need to back down or stop being stupid, can be a huge force for good at this time, and can all help in eventually finding the resolution you need.
About the Author
Harrogate Family Law are experts in complex divorce cases. With a leading legal team and an understanding approach to the emotional challenges that divorce presents, Harrogate Family Law will guide you every step of the way.
